Saturday, 9 July 2016

Love will keep us alive

Recently I visited a friend in hospital. Let's call him W in his late 30s and he was already hospitalized for more than half a year. 

What happened? 

Tragedy strikes W during what was supposedly a happy day on his Daughter’s birthday when for no apparent reason (to others) he was hit with brain stroke. In one moment everything is just fine and in the next, W had to go through emergency brain surgery and had tubes through into his skull and neck. He was unconscious for months, aggrieved with frequent fever, sufferings and incredibly thin physique under critical condition in the ICU. What could have been worst is the high chance of severe brain damage that doctors warned even after he regained consciousness. 

Can you imagine the pain and stress the family members have to go through during this period? It is just mind boggling that brain stroke can occur to someone still relatively young.

Tremendous progress now

W recovered fast. Today, medical tubings were all taken off and black hair grew. Although still bedridden with weak and misshaped legs and hand, W is able to talk slowly, eat solid food, and undergoes physiotherapy each day. Radiance on the face regain and most important of all, there was no brain damage.  

During my visit, I tried to lighten the whole atmosphere by cracking jokes. I wanted to be as normal as possible just like when we were having our "coffee shop chat" in the good old days. We also watched Euro 2016 highlights on my phone together. I asked, if W wanted to eat "Char Kway Teow" and if yes please recover fast! The response, "KFC!" I jokingly told him I will eat and he will watch, he smiled. Without permission from the medical staffs, I also bought him a packet of cold isotonic drink to quench his thirst. He sipped and felt “shiok”. It's been a long time since he last drank cold isotonic drinks. 

It was cheerful and jovial atmosphere! No signs of tragedy! 

Being a hospitalized patient myself before, I knew the last thing a recovering patient need is to feel pitiful. On the contrary, it is incredibly important to feel happy. W is able to join in the fun in my joke. It exudes remarkable positivity and to me, that is the light in the tunnel for a speedy recovery. 

Love will keep us alive 

When at his bedside, I also saw his auntie cleaning up for him. At the same time, W's neighbour also visited him with her kid, holding tight to W’s hand while talking to him! Yes, it’s only neighbour! W's “ang moh” boss also visited him regularly with his wife. W’s auntie was singing praises of how lucky he is to have such a good superior. I spoke to W's boss lately since we were in the same industry. I can sense his strong compassion towards W and up to today, he has yet to go out and find a replacement for W despite him finding it hard to cope in the area of his work with one good worker short. I was told by W's auntie that throughout this mishap, aside from his loved ones in the family, W always has many friends and relatives visiting him. And because no man is an island, he always feels so happy to see visitors.

Love is all around!

At the opposite bed of W, is an old patient, known to me that his children rarely visited him. The old patient was mouthful of frequent loud vulgarity and the nurse had to close the curtain around his bed. Perhaps this is the result of emptiness. It was a pitiful sight, much more than the illness a patient had to go through.

Rolf's thoughts

This visit to W brought back memories of my own hospitalization experience many years ago, as well as another friend who had his leg amputated from a traffic accident. While my sickness is definitely nowhere near to what W or my other friend had to put up with, there exist similarities that all of us are very positive during our hospital stay. Today, I am up and kicking well. My friend who has his leg amputated was married and has two kids now. I am sure W will be able to recover fast too.

It led me concluding that the most important thing that kept us alive when we are bedridden is not money, nor our success in career! These are no longer important. And it is definitely neither self-pity nor crying over why God is so cruel to you.

It is LOVE from people around us that keep us alive and look ahead! 

I often think that sometimes everything happens for a reason! Perhaps if one day W were to recover back to his usual state, (which I strongly feels he will), he will be able to amass enormous strength both mentally and spiritually. Nothing will then be any tougher.

With that, I shall leave a song from from Eagles - "Love will keep us alive"...


  1. True!

    Once we encountered thing like this; we will treasure what we have and people around us and know who are the real ones.

    1. Yes correct!

      Pain and suffering unfolds to become love and stronger relationship!

  2. Thanks Rolf for sharing, I hope your friend will get better.

    "There is no other commandment greater than these (to love God and your neighbor).” - Mark 12:31b

    1. Hi Yaruzi,

      Thanks for the concern and I really hope he will get better. He is really one very nice person!

      I always like ur comments straight from the mouth of God to provide a different dimension of comments in my blog.

      Thank you.

  3. Rolf,


    Sometimes we have to learn the hard way what's really important to us all.


    1. Hi Jared,

      True. Learning the hardway. It's the hardest but most effective!

      Must be grateful of what we have now, rather than not all the time covet what others have.

  4. “The first wealth is health.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

    And that kind of health goes beyond mere physical health. When doing good matches up with doing well, a field is healthy. You appear very healthy in my eyes.

    1. Hi Andy,

      Yes health is the first wealth, an indisputable fact!

      Thanks. I reckon most of here are healthy from the way we think and write.

      I do have so many of my own personal shortcomings/issues though not reflected here. They r kind of inherent in my character. I m trying to change and improve, but not easy!

  5. A very good and touching reminder to tell us what is important :) Thanks for the good sharing, and I wish your friend good health and good relationships :)

    1. Hi EH and LP,

      :-) Thanks for dropping by.

      Doing my part to spread more love to today's society which either somehow diminishing over time or forgotten as most chase for wealth.

      I hope all of us will be healthy and happily knitted closer together to our close ones.

  6. Hi Rolf

    Hospital bed is one of the best place to learn about life.
    Speaking from own experience.

    1. Hi ST investor,

      Well said. While sorry for ur experience whatever that is, I m happy and full of admiration to sense ur enlightenment.

  7. Replies
    1. Hi CW,

      Loving others more is definitely more difficult than asking for more love. Yes, the one who stay closer to us the longest is always none other than the spouse who can last a lifetime with us.

      You are a lucky man!

  8. Many or most people think money makes the World goes round until the face of death stare at them.
    Then they will know wealth or money is secondary to life.
    Wish your friend W recovers fully.

    1. Hi temperament,

      Love keeps the people irregardless of race, language or religion intact. That is the main reason of living a life.

      The chase of money and power divides! This has always been the case since the evolvement of mankind.

  9. To All,

    I want to thank all of you for the well wishes on behalf of my friend.

    One day when he is able to read (I believe he will soon), I will show him all these messages here.

    Thanks for the shower of love. Thank you once again.

  10. Replies
    1. Hi Yeh,

      Thanks for the concern. I am sure he will and u too will! :-)

  11. thanks for sharing - in our quest for financial freedom, this is a reminder that we do not lose sight of what is really important, family and friends around us.

    1. Hi Dowz,

      Thanks for dropping by and you are welcome. I agree with you.